A mother of two years old girl requests from her daughter to put her shoes
The little girl refused and insist that she won’t put the shoes
The mother said to the girl ” we need to go out, we are late,put your shoes”
The girl insists “No,I won’t put them ”
The mother started to be very angry and reacted with anger with her daughter
The mother said this power struggle is repeated every outing, she never listens to me
When I asked the mother how she felt in these moments
She said
– I failed as mother ,my girl doesn’t obey me
-My daughter started to be spoiled and doesn’t listen to me
– I did a lot to her and she is not considering me
My feedback to the mother
– “I failed” is this situation enough for you to consider yourself a failed mother ?
– Is this your daughter general attitude,so you can label her “spoiled girl”?
-You believe a two years daughter should really consider your efforts and appreciate you!
All these are your negative thoughts and beliefs and they are not fact nor real
What can I do in such power struggle? How I let my daughter listen to me and put her shoes?
The first step to be a positive parent is to start working on your negative thoughts and beliefs
You can’t do that in the heat of the moment when you are out of control state and insisting that your daughter is a spoiled girl who doesn’t obey you nor considers you
Many parents think if they can’t handle the problem on the spot their children won’t listen to them forever and they will make use of it more and more
You have to leave the situation for the time being not only for your child sake it is for your sake too
Here are five easy steps to follow in such power struggle
- Leave the problem only for the time being
- Take a break,separate yourself temporarily from the problem and your child
- Get rid of your negative thoughts
- Think only how can I help my child to listen to me
- Think how can I do better as parent
After following these five simple steps ,the mother returned calmly to her daughter and told her daughter let s play a game with the shoes
“I will put your shoes and you will put mine”
She lets her daughter put the shoes in a form of game,
is your child main language ,play is the best tool to handle your child stubbornness and let him listen to you
A way to Playful parenting
